Monday, April 7, 2008

miracle monday

i'm not sure this would constitute a miracle to most people, but it was a Godsend to me!

i was 16 when a friend of mine (nike) introduced me to her ex-boyfriend that she thought would be perfect for me. they were still good friends...actually very close friends...and she thought that our personalities were similar. he was 19, and a really nice guy. so i said that i would meet him.

june of 1995
our first date was a disaster. he took me, and our friend (nike), and a couple more of his friends, to a party where i knew no one but nike. i am a pretty shy person to begin with, and i take forever to actually make friends, so being stuck in a place with around 60 people (out of which i knew 2) was not my idea of fun. then, to cap it all off, he took me home with 3 other people in his car. i didn't get any time to get to know this guy! it was my first real date ever, and it was horrible.

nike talked me into going out a second time. this time it was just us...the two of us. it was so much better. i actually got to know him. we had a pretty good time. we started seeing more of each other...and our relationship progressed pretty rapidly.

dec 1995
we had been seeing each other everyday. our relationship was pretty good, but i was looking forward to college in the fall, and wasn't sure we would be able to handle a long distance relationship. i noticed at christmas break, i hadn't had my period. it was unusual for me, i had always been pretty regular (down to the same time of day) but i had several friends that were always missing periods, so i just figured the same thing was happening to me. i was an "A" student, and i was going to college...nothing was going to happen to me.

jan 1996
by this time, i was really really worried. i still hadn't had my period, and when i laid on my belly, it felt like i was laying on a lump. i was scared to death. i took a pregnancy test and surprise surprise, it showed a positive. my boyfriend and i both cried. i was scared to death. my boyfriend was scared of what it would mean for me...missing out on college, missing out on all the possibilities that were out there for me. he was 20 by this time, and while he didn't have a great job, he wasn't still in school.
i told my mom (after the school nurse and a couple of teachers and several friends) and she made me go to a scholarship competition at the school i had been talking about going to. she wanted me to have an abortion and go on like nothing ever happened. she thought that if i saw the school, and met with people there, i would change my mind about it. there are very few things that i am sure about, and my feelings about abortion are one of them. had i let her talk me into it, i would have hated myself and her. i don't think she realized what she was doing. i won a $5000 scholarship, but turned it down because i was having a baby in august.
the rest of school seemed a bit surreal. i changed some of the classes i was planning on taking because taking a weight training class didn't seem to be a good idea...and i don't think the school would have allowed me to anyway. i had teachers that were very nice, and others that wouldn't talk to me or even look at me in the hall. it hurt. it hurt a lot. i had friends that stopped talking to me because of their feelings about my choice. it wasn't easy.
the only person that was totally there for me the entire time was my boyfriend. he only wanted me to be happy. he was scared but excited about us being parents. his parents weren't exactly thrilled with the way it was coming about, but they were already expecting their 7th grandchild, and ours would make number 8.

my dad was totally disappointed. he tried to cover, but it hurt him pretty bad. he expected me to go to college. now, i was in the same position that he and my mom had been in 18 years before. he and my boyfriend's parents asked us if we were planning on getting married. we hadn't really talked much about it. we had only been together for 6 or 7 months. i knew i didn't want to rush into it. after my parents' nasty divorce and the 4+ years since, i wasn't really rushing into any marriage, and i especially didn't want to mirror what they had done.

july 1996
on my 18th birthday, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. i was scared to death. i knew this was what i wanted, but i was still scared that he was only doing it because of our baby. i said yes.

august 1996
i started at the community college the day before my due date. a week and a half past my due date, our alex was born. he was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. my boyfriend, i mean my fiance, cried as he held our son. we had so much family and so many friends there, it was beautiful.

we were married in may of 1997.

why would i consider this a miracle? i know too many girls that never had the support i had. in fact, after our second child was born, i helped out by watching babies for teen moms. almost all of them had no dad to help...and if he was there, it wasn't a good situation. i found my calling. i didn't know that being a mom and a wife could be so fulfilling. i found a man that loved me through some really rough times, and helped me to reconnect with my dad, find God, and trust in His plan and His love. i have a husband that i know loves me, and would marry me again (as he did in april of 2001). my parents' divorce hurt me deeply, and changed me as a person. i found a man that helped me heal from that hurt...well, he continues to help me heal. i haven't gotten totally over my feelings, but i am working on it. he is there to help me calm down, and take things easy. he is my partner.


Beth said...

Having the strength NOT to have an abortion when it would have been easier for you truly is a miracle!

I'm so glad you had the strength to keep your baby and also glad that you found your calling.

Your husband sounds like a wonderful man!

Thanks for participating in Miracle Monday!

Angie said...

My brother and his now-ex-wife, chose life 19 years ago, too when my brother and Lisa were 18. Their choice's name is Andrew and is attending Univ of KY this year. Andrew proves to me, there is no such thing as pro-choice or pro-life. There is a choice should be spelled CHILD in that case.

Thanks for sharing your story.

All relationships are miracles even with rocky beginnings.


movefearlessly said...

I LOVE this story! God performs miracles when we don't even know we need them, and i think this is proofof that. thank you for sharing this!

Denise said...

Choosing life is a beautiful miracle, bless you.

elizabeth embracing life said...

The Bible speaks of how much Jesus loves children. No where is there a mention of any conditions on that love. Not one!! This is truly a miracle how God has taught you more of who He is.

kate5kiwis said...

gosh amy, your story could be on my blog: it's mine too, almost word for word, 'cept my parents are still together.

i love this:
i found my calling.
what an awesome statement.

and do you know what? i remind myself that angels have been watching D18 since the moment of his conception, and i am forever thankful that angels were watching over me at such a tender age too.

loads of love X

Damama T said...

Finding yourself is always a miracle. Finding someone to share yourself is even more so. Too many people go through life alone, never experiencing this. You are truly blessed.

Bonnie said...

Wow ! What am amazing story ! I came over from Beth's place and just wanted to let you know I had stopped by !

Bonnie @ Simple Beauty

Karen MEG said...

Beautiful miracle. Thanks for sharing your story (came by Beth's).

OHmommy said...

What a cute family. VERY nice story

Lee and Beth said...

Your story sounds a lot like mine. My husband and I met through his cousin when I was 16 and he was 19. Our relationship moved along really fast, and after only a few dates, Lee was already telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me. After we had been dating for a couple of months, I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter, Lilly. Unlike you, I didn't have have any plans for going to college, and I was unsure of what I wanted to do ater high school. Lee and I got married when I was about 3 months along with Lilly, and we moved into our first house. We have been going strong ever since, and I realize that God had a plan for me, and like you, I consider it a miracle that he would work everything out so well for me. And five kids later, we're still as happy as can be! :)

Amy said...

This story just made me cry. You are truly a special person and indeed, this was a miracle. I am so happy for you. Thanks for sharing your story. I, too, am a miracle as my mom chose to have me when she was 19 and unmarried. For her and my dad, it all worked out -35 years later, they are still married. =)