Saturday, August 30, 2008

today, my hubby called me to say some a friend of ours' spouse has moved out. this friend is one of the kindest people i have ever met, and i don't think i have seen a better parent...

i feel so badly for him. you hear so many stories about husbands that don't help much with the kids (like from me for example). this guy takes their 4 kids to their games and practices, gives them their baths, takes them to church, cooks...

their youngest was born 3 days after my littlest, zack. their oldest is a year younger than my oldest. these kids are some of the most well behaved and nicest kids around. their 3 child is my grace's bestest friend. i love them like family, and it hurts to see them going through this.

i guess it brings back that fear of being 30. the wife is only 3 or 4 years older than i am. she is repeating old family patterns...her mom left her dad with all 5 of them, her being 18 months old at the time.

why do people do that? i don't want to sound like divorce is evil, and always wrong, but how do you go from loving someone enough to not only marry them, but create 4 beautiful children together...and then decide it's not what you want? i just don't get it...and i hope i never do.

Friday, August 29, 2008

twelve years ago today

today my oldest child turns twelve. i can't believe my boy is almost a teenager. here's a picture of him with bebe. isn't she beautiful? i still can't believe she's been gone. almost a month now. it still feels like a weight on my chest when i think about her. still feel the tears...anyway, back to my boy...twelve years...amazing.
i remember him as the most beautiful baby i had ever laid eyes on. i know what you're thinking, everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful. they may think it, but i know it. he was a week and a half late. i was swollen and miserable. but i will never forget being surrounded by friends and family the entire day. i mean the whole day. my labor started around 7 am, and he was born around 10:30 that night. long time not to be able to eat or drink. i remember the hubby asking if it was ok if he watched him come out. if i was comfortable with it. i remember the tears in his eyes and how he told me how much he loved me and our baby. i remember my father in law, coming in to see his newest grandson, and crying like a baby. alex was number 8 for them, but i think he was special to them in a way the other kids (none of the other grandkids) will never be able to touch.
i remember how excited he was when he saw haley for the first time. how he just stared at her, laying there naked in the warmer...and then asking where her penis was...
i remember him playing outside at my in laws, and really never having to worry to much about him, because my brother in law's rottweiler loved him more than anything on earth. she watched over him and kept him from harm all the time she was alive. God help the poor dog or cow that came near my boy when seirra was around!
i have watched my boy welcome each new member of our household, each new brother and sister with loving and open arms. i have watched him take his little brothers to the pond, and i must say, i love to see the look of open admiration those little guys have for him.
my alex is not perfect. i do not expect it from him. and yet he is constantly surprising me with how well he does with school, how athletic he is, and how kind he can be.
i have been so blessed with him as my oldest child.
happy birthday!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

change is on the horizon

i'm not sure why, but i know some big changes are coming for our little corner of the universe. not "the" change for least i don't think that's it...more like something is coming. i'm not sure what, i'm not sure why, but i can feel it. i'm hoping it's just a weight and inches change...but it feels bigger than that. i can't say if it's good or bad...just that something is coming.

soccer is going well. we had our first practice tues, and another one tonight. the guy helping me is really nice (i'll just call him coach d). but, well, a tad on the boring side. i kind of let him take the lead, and i think that was a bit of a mistake on my part. not major, he coaches his older son's team, so he just has his way, and i have mine. i think kids learn by doing. he likes to make them listen to him explain...and explain...and explain some more. out of the hour, i think the kids got to use the ball for maybe half the time. maybe. i just don't work that way. 4 and 5 year olds want to do, not be told how do it. they don't know how do dribble the ball, or kick it in the goal. they have no clue how to pass it to their team mates. that's not something you can explain. they have to try it. he wants to test them on what a corner kick is, or a fullback kick. uh, hello? they are 4 and 5. i didn't even know what they were until 2 years ago. they just need to get the basics of a) kick the ball b) don't touch it with your hands. this is tough enough.
sorry, i kind of started ranting on you. it's my hubby's fault. if he just would have let me rant and rave about it tuesday night, i would have been over it by now. instead he told me it was all my fault, and to either change it or shut up about it. (well, a little nicer than that, but you get the idea)

alex has his first baseball game tonight. they actually started on tuesday, but he had been sick with a stomach bug, so he wasn't allowed to go. (no school, no sports is our motto) he's pretty excited. they won the first game, and they had just had a soccer practice right before the game. haley has practice today. i don't think grace has it tonight. i think she's just on tuesdays. they are all so excited about games starting the 6th.

our parish picnic is this sunday. i love the picnic. we always have so much fun, and see so many people. i help out with cutting the pies (home made pies) and jeff helps seat people at the dinner. kettle cooked beef that is the best stuff around. i don't know how they make it, but oh my gosh, it's heaven on a fork. yes, it really is that good. there is also fried chicken, hamburgers, liver and gizzards (blech!!) and so much more! and that's just the food. they have bands, and beer, and wine, and a kids' section with games and inflatable rides, and a "train". i must say, i love working there. you meet so many other people in the parish you may not normally come in contact with. the kids are excited about it too. alex gets to work it too. kids in 5th grade and up get assigned stuff to do. he's working by jeff. i got to start getting stuff from the garden, they always need tomatoes and anything else from the garden. they have a country store they sell fruit and veggies, and anything homemade. jellies/jams, breads, deserts, anything.

well, i'm off to pick up kids from school.

Monday, August 25, 2008

miracle monday

today's miracle involves my little brother. he's a great guy. he's funny, charming, and a good looking guy (reminds me of myself. heehee). he's also had a drug and alcohol problem from the time we were kids. like preteen years. yeah, that young. there's three of us kids, i'm the oldest. my sister is almost 18 months younger than i am and my brother is 14 months younger than her. so there are 3 of us in less than a 3 year span.
anyway, my brother has been in trouble here and there all through his teen years. he had 2 DUI's before he was 21. but honestly, he hadn't had any since then...until this year. he had 2 more. now, there has been almost 10 years in between the first 2 and the last 2, but he could have been facing up to 7 years in the state prison. he hadn't hurt anyone, or caused any property damage, just got caught. plain and simple. with his third, he didn't seem to "get" it. he was into this "poor me" mind-set. you know, they're out to get him. he was driving my dad crazy. poor dad, i can totally see why his blood pressure is so high...he's had a rough go with us 3. the 3rd of july, he was picked up again. no one knew it. he had gone to see a friend who was in a rodeo, and didn't get back the next morning. my step mom and dad were pretty worried, but couldn't let on because they had all the grand kids there. he called them at 12. he explained what had happened, and that he needed a ride home. my dad went up to get him, and on the ride home, my brother talked to my dad. my brother finally took responsibility for his actions. he realized he needs help, and that pot and alcohol aren't it. he's going to AA and counseling and has made peace with the fact that he may face jail time. he's talking to us. he's opening up. he's not as angry as he had been. he's finally dealing with some of the crap that's been dealt to him since our parents split when he was in 4th grade.
so you see, it's a miracle that he never hurt anyone or himself while driving. it's a miracle that he is finally taking responsibility for his actions. it's a miracle he finally see's that he does have a problem. thank God that he has watched over my brother as much as he has.

please pray for his continued recovery.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


i'm not usually one for profanity...ok, let me rephrase that...i don't use a lot of profanity. the occasional slip here and there. but today? well, the wtf, that almost slipped right out.

i took the kids to the flea market today. i like to go up and see if they have any good deals on produce, check out the animals, see if anyone i know is there. you know, fun stuff. i brought 3 of my 5 kiddos with me. we walked around and were on our way out when i spotted a sign that said "free kittens". oh buddy, i had to check it out. inside this kennel were 4 kittens. one was black, one was solid gray, one solid white and one that was white with some spots. super cute. i couldn't resist the gray one. i picked him up, held him, checked under his tail (looked like a boy to me) and then the crowd came. everyone had a kitten. this crazy lady with the little white one decides she wants to find out if hers is a boy or a girl and proceeds to rub her finger over the cat's butt. i kid you not. this woman was feeling up this poor kitty. then she does it to my little gray one (you know, for comparison) and i have never felt so sorry for any animal in my life. she ended up not even taking one, so i took the gray one...and the white one. what can i say, i felt so sorry for them both. i hope i was able to hide what i was feeling at that moment.

seriously, who rubs a cat's butt?

Friday, August 15, 2008

math? isn't that for geeks?

my kids started back at school today. *happy dance* i picked them up at 11 am. i know, why bother even starting the day if you are going to be out in just a few hours? this was the question my kids asked me. well, a school day is a school day. that's it. period.
alex asked me if i knew who his math teacher this year. well, duh...the same teacher you had last year, right? nope. guess who is in the accelerated math now. that's right. so i have 2 math whizzes. at least 2 so far. grace is no slouch. i have told my kids that math is pretty easy. well, maybe easy isn't the right word. math is constant. 2+2=4 that will not change. once you understand the principle, that's it. i wasn't a math genius, but i did alright.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i smell brownies.

oh yeah, that's right. i'm making brownies with chocolate chips in it. i'm celebrating my pounds dropped. a whole 3 pounds.
i'm going to pack them all back on!

i talked to the guy in charge of soccer. guess who volunteered to coach the prek/kindergarten boys soccer team. that's right. yours truly. haley's team is joining up with my niece's team. neither team had enough players. so it actually works out better for me. if i need to send haley with someone for her game...i just send her next door. perfect! hubby's boss is still alex's coach. i 'm not sure when they start practices, but i hope it's soon. he's going to be one tired little pup. with soccer and fall baseball, he's going to be tired.

josh is so happy. he gets to start school next week and he gets to start soccer too. i'm actually excited about coaching soccer this year. the first year or two are easy to coach. at least for me they are. i just cover the basics of the sport. i don't have to come up with plays. i have my whistle. i can yell pretty loud. i handle little guys all day long.

alex leaves for his fishing trip today. he's going with my mom. they both sound pretty excited about it. i need to talk to my brother though. i heard that my mom may have been saying unkind things about my dad and stepmom within earshot of my kids. or directly to my kids. if that's the case, well, we will be changing the amount and how my kids spend time with her without hubby or myself present. if it keeps happening, well, let's hope it's not happening at all. my kids come first. my kids love my dad and stepmom. i will not let her damage that. end of story.

and that, dear friends, is the end of my bloggy free time. until the next time!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

who do you like?

there are certain actors, or well, people that i love to watch in movies. maybe they aren't actual "actors" but do act in certain movies. others are classically trained actors i just love.

1. Clint Eastwood. ok, the man was totally hot back in the day. i have loved his movies all my life. my dad and i would watch the spaghetti westerns, but my absolute favorite movie of his is Unforgiven. this movie has so many scenes that can bring you to tears. if you haven't seen it, go out and rent it, or check and see if it's on some channel. go to this site if you have no idea which movie i'm talking about.

2. Gene Wilder. sorry johnny, he is the first and last Willy Wonka for this sugar fiend. that was the first movie i had ever seen with him. then when he teamed up with richard pryor, well, how can you not love those movies?

3. Willie Nelson. i watch Honeysuckle Rose every time it's on tv. he may not be an award winning actor, but i love his movies, and tv appearances.

4. Mel Brooks. need i say more? the man is a total genius.

5. Johnny Cash...and June Carter Cash. i fell in love with them when they made a few appearances on Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman. try watching Stagecoach sometime. it has johnny, june, willie, kris kristopherson, and walon jennings. oh and john schnieder (one of the dukes, or superman's dad depending on which generation you're from). great movie to watch.

Monday, August 11, 2008

miracle monday

hi everyone! i just wanted to update you about jessica. for those of you who may not remember her, or didn't read the original post it's here
she is defying the odds, and doing so well now. thank you all for the prayers and support for this woman and her family. please visit her caring bridge page and learn about what a strong and inspiring woman she is.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

best vacation spot?

hey everyone! just a quick post/question. please leave a comment!!!!
we are trying to plan our vacation. it's with 3 other couples, in feb and keep in mind these other couples like to drink. we went on a cruise. that was lots of fun, but we had to pay for our drinks. while that wasn't a big deal for us, there were a others that spent quite a bit more than they expected.
please tell me of some of your best vacations. or some great spots in your neck of the woods. just keep in mind that we are talking feb. we would love some place you can drive to. (we can drive anywhere! so far we've driven to new york, canada, new you get the picture!)
we are up for pretty much anything. most of us are coming from missouri, but one couple will be coming from new jersey.
anyway...please leave a comment or two. tell your friends, ask them to leave a comment too! so far, we are looking at colorado...but feb? not so sure that would be a great plan.
thanks everyone!

Friday, August 8, 2008

free day

today was supposed to be a pretty light day for me. just one family. the others were all going to be out of town or parents were off of work for one reason or another (woohoo!). anyway, the only family i was supposed to have has a sick child and so the mom took off work to stay with them. so it's just me and my own kiddos!!!
what to do, what to do? well, right now, grace is killing some of the flies that have invaded my house. with so many kids running in and out all day, well, some obnoxious little buggers got in. (the bugs, not the kids) so now she is running around smacking them with the fly swatter. i think she gets 1 fly for every 10 swats, but she's the one doing it, not me. so who am i to complain.
alex is up taking a shower. haley is waiting for her turn. they are going with my dad and stepmom to the horse races. they have been cleaning all morning so they can have friends over this weekend. (works for me!)
josh and zack went with me to sign josh up for pre-k. he is so excited about starting school. sure, it's only 2 days a week, but he's in a class, making friends, and learning something. the poor kid has been asking when he can have friends over like the big kids. well, you have to actually have friends before you can ask them over to play. i don't know anyone with boys the same age as josh. soccer starts soon too. he'll have friends coming out of his ears.
zack has taken his second shower for the day. he had to get in when i was taking one this morning, and then had to get in with alex too. he may be the cleanest kid in the house.
so, i am hoping to figure out something fun for lunch. maybe we'll head to the park, or get some pizza or something. something different. i want to be able to sit back and have a good time with my little monsters today.
ok, scratch that...the older two were picked up a little earlier than originally planned. so i am getting papa john's pizza (mmmmmmm!) and then we are going to figure out something fun that they will enjoy. maybe grace's friend will spend the night, maybe we will play some parcheesi, maybe we'll go swimming. the choice is theirs my friends!

now, i am going to play with my kids! have fun today (it's beautiful here!)!

Monday, August 4, 2008

miracle monday

ok, i meant to have this ready for last week, but my days got a little confused and as i was getting ready to write it, well, i realized it was tuesday. so i figured i would wait until the next monday to write it...and well, that's today.

well, you all know we had our local county fair a couple of weeks ago. we had to be there every day. every morning, and every afternoon/evening. alex's pig went the first day of the fair, haley's lambs went on wednesday. the animals aren't released until saturday night at midnight, so we have to be there every day, a couple of times a day, to make sure they have food, and clean their pens. it was a very expensive week. besides the fact i wasn't able to babysit, the passes we had to get ended up costing us about $100, the gas to drive there twice a day, plus buying a soda/water, and dinner up there...well, let's just say, the money added up pretty quickly and i was getting pretty short on cash by the end of the week. saturday came and i was down to $30. i had my 5 kids, and grace's little friend with us, and it was lunch time. it was so very hot, and i knew they wouldn't eat a lot, so i bought them some drinks, and told them to pick something small to eat, so i would have enough to buy them some ice cream for the long walk to the car. every one wanted a hamburger or hot dog or huge thing of fried potatoes...and i just didn't have enough money (and i knew they wouldn't eat all of that) so i told them "look guys, i don't have unlimited amounts of cash, if you want an ice cream for the walk home you have to get something one or two dollars". as i was getting their orders ready and counting out my money (just enough to get what they wanted...not enough to get ice cream later) a $10 bill gets put in my hand. a man and his wife overheard me talking to the kids and he told me to get the kids an ice cream. "oh no, (i am red faced with embarrassment over being overheard) please, it's ok." he tells me "get your kids some ice cream". his wife smiled, and he grinned. "please, really, it's ok". "get your kids some ice cream" he says. smiling, he and his wife walk away. i said " thank you" and made the kids say it too (they didn't even know what was going on, but did what they were told.).
the people at the fair were some of the nicest and most helpful people i have ever met. these people volunteer their time to set it up, work the booths, and help out those of us (namely me)that have no clue what we are doing.
they even help out frazzled moms (that have more kids than they know what to do with) get the kids a cool sweet treat on a unbearably hot day. (and $10 was the exact cost to get the kids their ice cream)