when i was 16, there was a terrible car accident before school, and a friend of mine was killed. he had been a passenger in the car, driven by his best friend, and the driver was the only one wearing his seat-belt.
the driver (i'll call him jay) and i had been close our freshman year. closer than we had any business being. we ended things because, well, he didn't feel the same way i felt.
and i hated him.
well, hate may be too strong of a word.
it hurt to be around him. to see him.
our junior year, we ended up having a class together again.
and it still hurt to see him.
and then the accident happened.
and we both lost a friend.
i visited him at his house afterward...and i forgave him for all the hurt. it's horrible that it took our friend's death for me to see how short life could be. how forgiving him was also forgiving myself. i was just as much to blame for what happened between us as he was.
we became friends again. just friends.
our senior year, we had our last class of the day together. we sat at the same table together. he helped me so much. we talked more than we ever had before. we talked about what had happened our freshman year. i got a better understanding of him. of the man he was becoming. and then i became pregnant with my oldest. he never treated me any different. he saw me as the same person. he helped me in so many ways, just treating me as he had before. most of my guy friends kept their distance, they didn't want to be mistaken as the dad. jay still treated me as he had before.
for that, i will forever be grateful.
i would like to ask for you to pray for jay's wife. she has been fighting cancer for too long now. they have a beautiful little boy, and a wonderful family together. please pray for them all.
this is her caringbridge site http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jessicainchiostro. she is a remarkable woman.