twelve years ago today

today my oldest child turns twelve. i can't believe my boy is almost a teenager. here's a picture of him with bebe. isn't she beautiful? i still can't believe she's been gone. almost a month now. it still feels like a weight on my chest when i think about her. still feel the tears...anyway, back to my boy...twelve years...amazing.
i remember him as the most beautiful baby i had ever laid eyes on. i know what you're thinking, everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful. they may think it, but i know it. he was a week and a half late. i was swollen and miserable. but i will never forget being surrounded by friends and family the entire day. i mean the whole day. my labor started around 7 am, and he was born around 10:30 that night. long time not to be able to eat or drink. i remember the hubby asking if it was ok if he watched him come out. if i was comfortable with it. i remember the tears in his eyes and how he told me how much he loved me and our baby. i remember my father in law, coming in to see his newest grandson, and crying like a baby. alex was number 8 for them, but i think he was special to them in a way the other kids (none of the other grandkids) will never be able to touch.
i remember how excited he was when he saw haley for the first time. how he just stared at her, laying there naked in the warmer...and then asking where her penis was...
i remember him playing outside at my in laws, and really never having to worry to much about him, because my brother in law's rottweiler loved him more than anything on earth. she watched over him and kept him from harm all the time she was alive. God help the poor dog or cow that came near my boy when seirra was around!
i have watched my boy welcome each new member of our household, each new brother and sister with loving and open arms. i have watched him take his little brothers to the pond, and i must say, i love to see the look of open admiration those little guys have for him.
my alex is not perfect. i do not expect it from him. and yet he is constantly surprising me with how well he does with school, how athletic he is, and how kind he can be.
i have been so blessed with him as my oldest child.
happy birthday!