as i approach the big 3-0, i have been becoming a little more preoccupied with aging. i know, thirty is not that old. it's not old at all. of course i know this, but it seems a little scarier to me for some reason. i guess it could be the fact that i have known a few different women that lost their marbles when they were in their thirties, left their husbands, and turned their families up side down. i don't think that would happen to me, but i didn't think it would happen to these women either. it could be that i know that most people my age are just starting their families, and i won't be adding any more kids (at least biological) to our family. my days of carrying children and nursing my babies are over. it's a really sad realization.
dude, i am so depressing right now.
ok, here's something funny. my dad is back from florida. he finished his job down there and is home. he was able to make it to the kids' games this week too. my stepmom and i were talking about my upcoming birthday...neither of which realized i was turning thirty. i had mentioned that i wanted a chicken coop and chickens for my birthday, but wasn't holding my breath (jeff is not a fan of chickens). so my dad said he'd do it for me. i'm still not holding my breath, but i thought jeff was about to fall on the floor. then he told my dad i probably have some of the plans i designed when i was a kid and wanted chickens. (which i think i may still have somewhere.) i designed these plans when i was about 9 or 10. yes, i am for real. i thought if i put that a lot of effort into the plans and saving my money and ordering chicken catalogs, i would prove to my parents that i could be responsible enough to take care of them. uh, yeah, that didn't happen. i never got them. now i still am trying to prove myself so i can get some chickens...only now it's my husband i have to impress, not my parents. how sad, and yet, i think it would be really funny if my dad did do that for me. i mean come on, i am going to be thirty.
anyway, time for me to go and sit with a young'un and get him to sleep. before i go, could i ask you guys to say some prayers for the phelp's family. they lost a grandpa last friday. he was in his 80's, and lived a good long happy life, but they are still sad to lose him. please say some prayers for them.