wink wink

my house is so quiet right now. i just have one extra kid at the moment, and i am relishing the peace. for some reason, my eye has been twitchy the last 2 days. i feel like those cartoon characters right before they lose it. this weekend it going to be mega-busy. there is the "breakfast for dinner with santa" friday night (who comes up with these names?), saturday is the craft fair for the playground (i have to work this one), sunday my in-laws have their christmas party for their car club at their house (we go up to help get things ready).

i am actually looking forward to saturday. i am not selling anything, but i have some friends that are, and i am looking forward to seeing what all will be there. not to mention the fact my kids will not be there. i hope anyway. saturday is not exactly a good day for finding a sitter. my sister in law that i can usually count on is going to have a booth at the fair, my mom in law is getting ready for her party...i wish alex was just a tad bit more mature, then i could just have him watch the other kids. maybe my mom or step mom will be able to take them. otherwise, i will just have to bring them with me. ugh!

well, the peace hasn't lasted as long as i had hoped. i must be off in search of a couple of 2 year olds, and a 3 year old. they decided to play outside for a while.

rachel's meme...i'll give it a try!

ok after 2 hours, this is what i came up with!
this is my first name.

this is where i live now, the 2nd is where i was born. basically the same area.

the first 2 are our dogs' names now.

below was my lizard's name.

this WAS my nickname in high school. totally undeserved, i swear!

really it was.

i swear!

i will be this old on my next birthday.

add blueberries, and you have my absolute favorite food.

his name was my grandma's too!

i'l like to visit here.



i love this place!

my favorite animal ever!

major in college? liberal arts count?

worst habit ever!

pastimes i love are:

this was my first job. but in the good old us.

below is my favorite job by far.

updates

some updates for you...
the great chicken experiment of '07 has been a bust. due to irreconcilable differences, we have decided to part ways. but fear not, dear reader, hopefully in spring of '08, we shall have more humorous stories about life on the farm. well, at least life with some farm animals. i don't think we would qualify as a farm, unfortunately. it would be great if we could (for tax purposes). anyway, come springtime, we should have a pig, haley will be taking care of a lamb or two, and we may do our own chicken thang.

the puppy has finally gotten a name. the kids still don't know she's going to be theirs. they just wanted to be able to call her something other than puppy. her name is "black sally". it was a combination of blacky and mustang sally. jeff wanted sally, the kids wanted blacky. i actually like black sally myself.

i forgot how totally awesome it is to housebreak a puppy. cleaning up the accidents, taking it outside every 15 minutes because she was sniffing around, teaching her not to scratch up the door, i can't believe i didn't want to try this sooner!

yesterday, i got to play hero. sami and black sally disappeared during an unplanned potty break (zack decided to help and let the dogs out with out telling me. and they were gone for like 45 minutes before i realized) and so we called and called, and then called some more. next we got volunteers and did a search (grandpa and alex rode the 4wheelers around looking for them), and they found sami in the creek bottoms, but no black sally. so they kept searching, i went to the neighborhood behind us and looked, but nothing. when i got back, i took the 4 wheeler and made alex stay with the little guys and went to search the creek myself. i guess when grandpa and alex searched, they never got off the bikes or even turned them off. being a woman (and therefore infinitely smarter) i got off the bike and searched the creek bank calling for her. guess what! i found her. when she heard me calling her, she started crying and i found her. unfortunately she was on the opposite side of the creek, so i had to climb in there and call her until she swam for it. it is, by the way, freezing here. so i had to hold her (completely soaked to the skin) and climb up the 10 foot bank, and then drive back to the house. she got a bath right away, wrapped in a towel, and put in a nice warm cage to warm up and feel puppyish again. now she stays pretty close to me when i take her out.

staying home

i love being a stay at home mom. i'm glad we are able to do it. it isn't always easy financially or emotionally, but it is definitely where i want to be....right now. there are some definite draw backs...
1) i don't get alot of adult time. i feel like a junky sometimes when i see other grown ups. i start jonesin' for a adult conversation fix. just to talk to someone i don't have to tell what to do, or explain why they have to do it, when they need to do it, and how they need to do it would be heaven. it has gotten better, though. since i don't have a new baby or pregnant, i am able to go out with some of the parents i know. i don't know why it stopped me in the past, but it did.

2) i don't feel like i can complain to my husband. i know what you are thinking, "why would you not complain to your hubby?". that's easy to answer, he has to work alot. not as much as he did before, but still alot. his job is a stress filled one. when you work on commission, it will always be stressful, but, when you have a wife who stays home with your 5 kids, it becomes just a wee bit more so.

3) i get alot of kid time. some days, perhaps a bit too much. i seriously can't go to the bathroom without someone right there behind me saying "hey mom". my kids think when a door is locked, it means that we want them to just get the key and come in anyway. i don't even get to sleep in my bed without kids. some days, you can't throw a stick without hitting a kid.

4) i know that these are the best years of my life. these are my babies and they are only young for such a short time. i am scared i am not enjoying my kids enough. you see, i am with them all day. i am worried that by being with them all the time, i don't get a chance to sit back and see them for the great kids they are. (atleast not until someone else tells me)

i hate feeling this way. my kids are my life...literally. i have a hard time being away from them. i can't say i don't get away...i have a great family that loves spending time with my kids. my step mom and dad actually take all 5 overnight. yes you heard right, all 5 (ages 2 thru 11) all night, and they even take the kids out places with them! my step mom actually took all 5 a couple of weeks ago, over night, and my dad wasn't even there to help out. just her and my little bro. (he may be 26, but he acts like 11 sometimes) even with the kids gone, i have no idea what to do with myself. i don't know how to do things without being interrupted 10 times. i will suddenly look around trying to find the little ones, only to remember they are out. i have had a baby on my hip, or in the oven for 12 years (in december). they have been the best 12 years. maybe i am just a little scared about what comes next?

rain rain rain

today is a really rainy day. now, rainy days usually don't bother me, but today i have 13 (yes thirteen!) kids at my house. normally when i have lots of kids at my house, i send them all outside. even in rain, i could send them outside...but it is cold, and loud thunder...so i think i'll let them stay inside. the girls are watching high school musical 2 (i am doing back flips, i love this show so much) and the boys are downstairs, playing video games. i just finished making pancakes for all the kids. they scarfed them down so fast, i didn't stop buttering and cutting until they were completely gone. they were lined up for seconds before the last kid had even gotten her plate! now, while they are all busy with movies and games, i get to write this post. tomorrow, we are going to my in-law's house for thanksgiving. i need to get over there early so i can help her out. i think there is only going to be 30 people, so it should be easy.

haley had her soccer pizza party last night. i got there late (as usual), but still in time for the trophies and the "show". coach brad took pictures of the girls, set it to music, and showed it on the wall at pantera's. it turned out great! then he had it on cd's for all the parents. awesome! i also found out the girls start basketball practice in march. yes, march. it's an instructional league, so it starts after the normal basketball season. alex has already started practicing. it is so nice to not have more than one kid playing a sport at one time. i get to actually watch alex, then when haley starts, i get to watch her too.

haley starts in a new, more challenging, math and english class monday. she is so excited. basically they are going to start 4th grade math. the teacher is a little worried that it might not be enough to challenge them, but they can up it a little if they need to. english will basically be adding to what they do normally in class. they will be reading chapter books, doing research projects, writing papers, and taking quizzes on them. i am actually excited about the fact she will be bringing homework home now. she hasn't had anything to bring home in a long time. she gets it done so fast in class, she hasn't really had any in quite a while. i am really happy that our school recognizes that some students need to be challenged more and work with that. i am so proud of that kid.

zero

well, not even a full minute after my post yesterday, i got a call i didn't expect. it was the family from that post...you know the one with "butters" the basset hound...anyway, my first reaction was "oh is the puppy ok?" i should have known better. they are totally in love with "token". (that's his name now.) in fact, so was their next door neighbor. she wanted the other male, if he was still available. this actually worked out perfect, you see, the last male was very lonely without his brother. they were like 2 peas in a pod. not that he doesn't love his sister, but it wasn't the same. so these people came out and fell in love with "sebastian". in fact, they were asking about the little girl too. but we had decided (actually i decided) that she was no longer up for adoption. we are going to surprise the kids. they think that we are holding her for a friend of my sister in law for christmas. they really have no clue! we are potty training her because "she would be too lonely down in the puppy pen with out the other puppies" and using our crate to train her. she didn't do too great last night with the crying all night...but i figure we need to get her on a better schedule.

anyway, i have much to be thankful for. we actually ended up with more people wanting a puppy than we had puppies. thanks to all who took a pup, those who prayed for us to find good homes for them, and please pray for my senses to return (i swore i didn't want any more dogs!!!what happened to me?).

and then there were two!

last night, i got a call from a jen (not the nurse or the vet) that a friend of hers was wanting to come out and get a puppy. this call was at 8:30 PM folks. but as the saying goes in our house..."if you're taking a puppy, we don't care what time it is!" so these people came out...well not just the people, but their basset hound "butters" too, and they decided they wanted the biggest boy. the guy was pretty funny. he said when his wife told him what breeds the puppies were his reaction was "those sound like some ugly puppies". and was (pleasantly) surprised at how absolutely beautiful (his exact words now) they all were. so they left around 10pm, with a puppy. i have been so happy about the homes we have found for these guys. i think every one of them will be spoiled and well taken care of. i hope at least. this has truly been the hardest part of getting rid of them all. i don't want them to end up in a shelter, or cast away outside somewhere. now if we can find homes for the last 2 (or even just 1) by thanksgiving, i will truly have some thanks to be giving!

did you know?

here is something you may not know about me. i have been married twice. now before you start racking your brain trying to figure out how, let me explain.
we were married twice. my husband and i. the first time was after our oldest was born. in fact he was 9 mos old and at our wedding. we were married in a church, not our church, but just a church. i wanted a church wedding, you see. not necessarily a church or religion, just a church wedding. did this wedding mean anything? of course it did. you see, i love my husband. i wanted to be his wife. i also had some mixed emotions about marriage and men (thanks to my parents' nasty divorce). i also had some trust issues to work out. so this first wedding helped me toward being able to believe my husband loved me and wanted to marry me, not just because we had a son together. so anyway, we were married again in 2001. this was the year i went thru RCIA (rite of catholic initiation for adults..i think). i became catholic. which means that i went thru 9 months of classes to learn about the catholic faith and decide if it was really what i wanted. the night before easter, at the mass, i was baptized, given first communion, made my confirmation, and was married again, all in one night and in front of the entire church. i was the only one who did all of this. there were others who received some of those sacraments, but i was the only one who had to receive them all. it was a god-filled night. my two oldest children were there, my grandpa was there (and also became my godfather that night), and people i hardly knew, (but now know) were all there for that night. my first wedding was stress-filled. this one was awe inspiring. god was there for me, took care of my fears and worries, and the following month i found out i was pregnant with my grace. sometimes i forget He has a plan for me, and that i need to trust him. i guess i need to remember those 2 wedding days. thank you god. thank you for those you put in my life, and those you have taken from it.

crazy???

now i know that's not the pc way to put it, but since i'm talking about myself, i figured it was ok. i have been trying to pay more attention to myself lately. i have noticed that during certain times of the month, i am a total horn dog. which my husband appreciates, but worries me some. you see i become way more visual. i start checking out men...any men. i have always appreciated the male body. you know strong broad shoulders, big (but not too big) biceps, nice butt. but that particular time of the month, i am like a moth to a flame. not that i would ever even consider acting on it...but i worry that it could be just a stepping stone? i don't know. then, of course, at other times of the month i get angry. not just crabby, but "want to make someone cry" angry. so i have decided it is time to get checked by a "female" doctor. i saw my family doctor last year, but he really wasn't helpful. all he could say was it wasn't my thyroid, and all my blood work came out fine. i know my mom (i love her dearly) had issues after 30 (ok she had them before then too), and family members that are bipolar or addicts of one kind or another, i am scared to death it could be me too. so hopefully i am going to head it off. this is so hard to talk about. i have talked a little to my friend jen (the nurse). she said it sounded more hormonal to her, and maybe it could be a case of that ppms (?) or whatever the really bad pms is. so i am hoping and praying that's what it is.

ok, enough of that stuff. here's what you really want to hear about. WE ARE DOWN TO 3 PUPPIES!!!! two boys and one little girl left. today, there might be one more person coming to take a puppy. YIPPEE, WHOO-HOO, YAHOO!!!! can you tell i am a little excited? this has been a great experience, the kids have loved it. the pups are so sweet and good with the kids. still, i am ready for them to go to homes other than mine.

4H was last night. i brought 4 kids because alex had basketball practice, and jeff had to work. grace actually does clover kids. that's for kids 5-8 years old. they learned about worms. they got to make a worm habitat and bring home worms. josh and zack were very interested too. they got to make habitats too. so did haley. so we have 4 containers of worms in my kitchen. am i not the luckiest woman on earth? crazy hormones and worms. what i life i live!
alex had his first basketball practice last night. it went well. he loves it. i am not a basketball person. i never really liked watching it as much as football... soccer... paint drying. but i must say, i love watching my kids. i don't care what it is, how boring i may think it is, i love to see them playing.

summary of today's post. i am hormonal. i still have puppies. i have worms.
yeah, that sounds right.

last night, my hubby and i read this http://ofallonjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2007/11/10/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt
and i have never been this angry. read it and then come back...i will wait.


ok, now what kind of person does this to a child? i can understand that she wanted to make sure her daughter was being treated right...but these are kids. adults can't get involved like that. but what really burns me up is the total lack of guilt this woman felt. even if she thought the girl had tried this before, wouldn't that make most normal people feel more guilty? to push someone, especially someone that is already fragile, over the edge...and at 13 years old! my heart aches for those parents. to have a child taken in an illness or accident is horrible, but for that child to have chosen death! it scares me that a child would see no way out. i remember when this happened. we had meetings at our school about internet bullying and warning signs, but who thinks of a parent being the bully. i can't even come up with a reasonable punishment...of course she isn't going to be anyway. how is this not a crime? i am sorry i am all over the place with this, but i was up pretty late (not able to sleep) and i am still pretty angry about this. what does that show their children? "sweetie lets not tell the neighbors i pushed their daughter into suicide. what did they give you for your birthday?" i guess the part that scares me the most is these families were friends. what kind of sociopath can cause such havoc one moment, and then ask for favors the next without any guilt? please pray for the meiers, i am sure they could use all our prayers. pray for the daughter of the other woman too. i pray the other kids at school don't put together that her mom caused all this, and i pray she understands that this is so wrong.

kids and puppies and a couple of jens

my friends, the jens, just left. jen f. is a nurse with 4 kids and a great hubby. she stays home during the week and works weekends in the oncology ward. she has a definite calling. i don't know that i would be able to work there. she came over with her 2 youngest. benny is an adorable newly 3 year old boy. he will be in my zack's class. and meggy (meghan) who is around 7mos. beautiful kids. jen s. is our vet. well, she and her hubby are both our vets. she has 3 kids. she brought over joe (who will also be in zack's class), cora, and syd (he is her friend jessica's boy). this was the first time they had gotten to see the pups. they were all very impressed with the size and friendliness of the whole litter. jen s. said she thinks they will be at least 80lb dogs. if you have ever seen a newfoundland, that is what our fluffy pups look like. if you haven't, just google it, and look at those pics. adorable, i know!

rachel, thanks! i hope i didn't sound like a total freak in my last post. it's just with guy friends, you can get that male perspective. i love my husband, but it's hard to talk to him about him. my friend chris was fun to talk to, but when he started on the whole "well amy, if you stay home, maybe you should do more things like keeping up with all the house work, and doing laundry". i totally dropped him after that. i mean really! he's supposed to be my friend. i'm just kidding chris! you are still my #1 back-up plan if jeff decides that he can't handle the dirty house and annoying kids. (you can still afford a maid right?)

i hope anyone reading this gets that i am just joking about that. (unless it's you reading it chris)

i guess i could go into a little more detail about alex, haley, and grace's report cards and my meetings with their teachers.
i'll start with alex. he made high honors. what that means is he had all a's and only 1 b. (basically a 3.9 gpa) now this is impressive even if you didn't know how much harder the grading scale is in a catholic school. 90% to 92% is a b+. lower than 70% is failing. i was very very happy with his grades, and his test scores on his iowa basics test. that is the standardized test all catholic schools in the arch diocese take. he scored better than 98% of all the 5th graders nationally. congrats alex!
haley didn't make honor roll only because they don't start honor roll until 5th grade. she had all a's. her teacher said she is a great student and always very dedicated to getting her work completed and very neat. the teacher is also going to start her and some other students with some harder math. she said that haley is doing so well, that she is afraid this math that she is teaching is way below their level, and they need to move up to multiplications now, before they get bored. and she was the kid i was worried about. she is my child that has a hard time sitting still. always fidgeting. not in school apparently. she also took the iowa basics test and scored better than 98% of the 3rd graders nationally. who would have thought i would have such intelligent kids?
now we come to grace. kindergarten doesn't have letter grades, but the teacher was very happy with her progress. she is now bringing home books to read, by herself, every night. how awesome is that! she is a reading fiend now! all the time, this book, that book. it is awesome!

i am sooo proud of those kids. not just because they get good grades, but because they try hard and are just good kids. i was so happy yesterday when one of the moms from the field trip told me how good alex was. not that i was surprised he was good, but apparently he was great. he helped her out with directions (he's been there enough, he should know his way around), watched out for his 1st grade buddy, and just a huge help to her. i am so happy with that. it's nice he's that good for strangers. now if only he could do that for ME once in a while!

nov. catch up

boy it has been a while. i haven't had much to post about. the puppies are growing, and four will be going to their new homes this weekend. six will still be in my home, atleast until i find them homes, or give them out as christmas presents (lol).



kids are all doing well. alex and haley had good reports from their teachers, and alex made honor roll, so i am very happy about that.



we had a bonfire last friday. it went well. the kids had friends come over, and alex ended up with 4 boys spending the night. they were all surprisingly well behaved. not that they are bad kids, just when you have 5 boys at the ages of 10 and 11, you are usually expecting a little more noise and ruckus. several of our friends were there too, and it was nice to hang out with grown ups for a change. i even got a home for a puppy. one of my little brother in law's friends decided to tell her parents about them. they are coming over friday to pick up their little boy.





i have been thinking about my friend shawn again. how i miss him. well not just that i guess. i miss having a friend like him. a guy friend. one you can talk to, talk totally dirty and raunchy, complain without getting advice you can use, just a total goof off type of friend. i never had a girlfriend i could do that with. girls are different. well, maybe nike is pretty close to that type of friend, but she lives too far away...and it's kind of hard to complain about my hubby to her when she knew him first and was always way closer to him. i miss having a guy friend that is MY friend only, not my hubby's friend. i guess, in a way, i miss working outside of the home for that reason. i don't have friends that are mine. they are friends that have kids the same age as mine, or kids play on the same team, or know jeff. to these people i am so-and-so's mom, or jeff's wife, or debbie's sister-in-law, or so-and-so's aunt. not just me. i miss that. some times more than others. i miss shawn because he was someone i could totally be honest with and tell some messed up stuff to because i never really worried about what he would think of me. he was just as screwed up in the head as i was (maybe a little more) and he didn't judge me...well, i take that back, he did. but usually in a laughingly type of way. (that totally doesn't look right, but you get my drift i hope) i had other guy friends i could hang out with in high school, but it always seemed like they ended up thinking it would lead to more. tom, jd (not rachel's hubby, a different jd), joe, joe, chris, were all great guy friends. but things never really worked out. we didn't have the friendship connection shawn and i did. i really miss that.