my oldest asked me the other day if he had to participate in a math competition. i guess it's something all the local catholic grade schools do. grades 6 through 8 get to answer questions and compete (if you are in 8th grade) for scholarships to the catholic high school. sure you can i said. let me know when it is and i'll be there.





i guess i missed the intention of his question. he doesn't want to do it. all he would tell us is he "just doesn't want to do it". so we kept pressing and finally he said he just doesn't like being the center of the attention.



i don't believe that for a second. if he issues with that, we would have seen that in other things like shooting free throws after a penalty in basketball, or batting in baseball...i think he is afraid of not being "smart", or maybe being too smart. i think he's scared of being considered dumb, so he just sits back and does the little that he has to to get by.



then haley chimed in with how she and alex were both in the spelling bee...and neither of them wants to do that well. well enough, but not so well that they have to compete on a larger level. i don't get it. they are so competitive against each other...and in sports...but when it comes to academics, they want to sit back and watch.



this is the exact OPPOSITE of what i've been trying to instill in them. i love that they enjoy playing sports and all, but learning is WAY WAY WAY more important. i have extremely intelligent children and i want them to be smart. i want them to know they are smart and be confident in it. what am i doing wrong?



hubby told alex if he wants to play baseball in the summer, he better compete at the math competition. not sure i agree with that. i want him to actually want to do well. not be forced into it. i tried to tell him if he wanted any chance of going to the local catholic high school that he has to do well with these things and try for scholarships. we don't have an extra 7 or 8 grand just lying around to spend on one year of school for him. i don't want to add lots of pressure either.



i understand that it's hard to get up in front of people like that and compete. been there done that. i didn't like it either. i still have a hard time in front of people. my face gets bright red and hot. i lose my train of thought. my hands shake. and on rare occasions i break into a rash. it's not a pretty picture. i don't want them to be like that. i want them to be comfortable in front of groups. that's why i am totally for the kids reading in front of church. which is basically the whole school. they get to see everyone makes mistakes during their readings...everyone messes up once and a while.



i just wish i knew what the right thing to do is.