whew!

it's not the pox!!!! i am really happy that, well, it's not chicken pox.


what is it?


well, it is something bacterial...



like a strep infection in the skin (been there done that before)


or a small staph infection in the skin (been there done that too)


or impetigo (don't think we've done that one)


basically, while it is still spreading, it isn't nearly as bad as it was the other night. doesn't make sense does it? she's still getting little bumps (like bug bites) but they don't itch that badly, and they don't hurt as bad as they have been. the ones from the other day have started to fade quite a bit. so she's getting better...but i still have to give her some meds.

and she's not contagious.

so i let everyone at the school know that it's not the pox. and i let all the family know, and the families that i watch. so we should be good to go!


i'll let you all know about alex's soccer game, and baseball game, and leaving for his trip to (ha you thought i was going to tell you!) and the bookfair family night. no major funny-ness, or anything. just boring old me.

*thanks for the prayers for rachel, she's doing well!

hubby

hello all!
hey, i have a favor to ask, please pray for my hubby.
he is making some pretty major decisions right now...and i think he could use all the help he can get!
nothing bad...just change, it's never easy.
please pray for God to lead him in the right direction!
thanks!

the birthday countdown...

as i approach the big 3-0, i have been becoming a little more preoccupied with aging. i know, thirty is not that old. it's not old at all. of course i know this, but it seems a little scarier to me for some reason. i guess it could be the fact that i have known a few different women that lost their marbles when they were in their thirties, left their husbands, and turned their families up side down. i don't think that would happen to me, but i didn't think it would happen to these women either. it could be that i know that most people my age are just starting their families, and i won't be adding any more kids (at least biological) to our family. my days of carrying children and nursing my babies are over. it's a really sad realization.

dude, i am so depressing right now.

ok, here's something funny. my dad is back from florida. he finished his job down there and is home. he was able to make it to the kids' games this week too. my stepmom and i were talking about my upcoming birthday...neither of which realized i was turning thirty. i had mentioned that i wanted a chicken coop and chickens for my birthday, but wasn't holding my breath (jeff is not a fan of chickens). so my dad said he'd do it for me. i'm still not holding my breath, but i thought jeff was about to fall on the floor. then he told my dad i probably have some of the plans i designed when i was a kid and wanted chickens. (which i think i may still have somewhere.) i designed these plans when i was about 9 or 10. yes, i am for real. i thought if i put that a lot of effort into the plans and saving my money and ordering chicken catalogs, i would prove to my parents that i could be responsible enough to take care of them. uh, yeah, that didn't happen. i never got them. now i still am trying to prove myself so i can get some chickens...only now it's my husband i have to impress, not my parents. how sad, and yet, i think it would be really funny if my dad did do that for me. i mean come on, i am going to be thirty.

anyway, time for me to go and sit with a young'un and get him to sleep. before i go, could i ask you guys to say some prayers for the phelp's family. they lost a grandpa last friday. he was in his 80's, and lived a good long happy life, but they are still sad to lose him. please say some prayers for them.
thanks!

coming to my house

this week, i have had strangers at my door twice.
the first time didn't really bother me. it was two nice, older ladies that were Jehovah Witnesses. i am totally being honest in saying that it doesn't bother me when people come to my door spreading the Word. i am catholic, and i don't plan on changing that, but they are nice people and i am not going to be rude to them. i think it takes a lot of courage to go to people's doors to try to spread your faith. i don't know any catholics that do it. i know baptists do because my sister had them visit her several times. they've never come to my door. i've had young mormon men visit us when i was younger. it must have been after alex was born, otherwise i would be burning in the H E double hockey sticks right now. see, back in the day, i would have seen a young man coming to my door to spread the "Word" as a challenge...(awkward little temptress that i was).
i'm sorry, where was i?
oh yeah, people spreading their faith just doesn't bother me. i don't understand why it bothers others.

what does bother me is people that are trying to sell you something...well, not even just trying to sell it to you, but guilt you into buying it. i had a young man show up at my door (this is as parents are coming to pic up their kids, mind you) trying to sell me magazine subscriptions. i don't have time to go to the bathroom most days, let alone read a flippin' magazine, so i told him i wasn't interested. did he leave? no. he told me some hard luck story about how he's trying to stay out of trouble, and move up in his career, and help other underprivileged kids like himself do the same kind of job. you know what? i had the same kind of "job" when i was 14. the only difference was it was candy and nuts we sold door to door. we were given lines to tell people to get them to buy from us. "we are selling these *whatever* to keep us on the right track and out of trouble". the same freakin' lines he's telling me! sorry pal, i know the deal. i hope he gains some self respect soon and gets a real job. i did that job one day. one day was all it took for me to decide i didn't want to humiliate myself for some stupid job.

ok, i think i will leave you on a light note...
josh was playing with my mouth, you know, making it look like i was talking but he was saying stuff. so he's moving my mouth and singing "my mom is stinky, stinky stinky....my mom has hair in her nose nose nose". nice. i do so love kids, i wish i had 10 more just like him!

miracle monday

another miracle monday here. well, maybe. i'm not sure if this is considered a "miracle" or just "right place at the right time".

yesterday was easter sunday. we had our morning egg hunt here at the house, then off to the grandma's houses. (i know i know, what about church? well we had a rough morning and i didn't make it to church) we got to my grandma's house and hung out, ate some really good food, and had another egg hunt. then we headed over to my in-laws' house. we got there and ate some more, visited with my nephew who had the accident (he's walking by himself now!!), and ate some more. as i am finishing my plate, my father in law says "the cat has something out there, looks like a baby squirrel". so me, being the animal lover i am, i head out the door to see if i can help the baby squirrel or whatever it is. well, it's not a squirrel, it's a baby kitten. a little, new born orange baby kitten, that was still attached to it's placenta. i picked it up, it was so very cold, and wrapped him up in my hands. as i turned to go into the house i saw another little kitten, this one was grey stripped and laying just as cold and still. i was hoping with them being newly born, they might just need to be warmed up some. i started to blow warm breath on them, and they moved just a little. that was all the sign i needed! i took them inside the house and wrapped them in paper towels, and cut the umbilical cord on the orange one. my niece and her boyfriend continued to warm them and rub them as i went outside to check for more kittens, or for their momma. my in laws have about a dozen or so cats so i wasn't sure which one was the mom, and i checked for more kittens but didn't find any signs. i came back inside, and found the gray striped kitten had perked up and was fluffy and moving around. the orange one had a wound on it's back that had started to bleed. i guess either the mom or another cat had bitten it. he held on for 2 hours, and then quietly slipped away. i held him the whole time. as rough a start as that poor kitty had, i wanted to make sure his last moments were filled with kindness. the gray stripped kitten started to meow and move around more, so we put it outside in a box to see if his mom would come back for him. she came and took him back to her little nest.

i think it would be considered a miracle. had God not put us in the right place at the right time, that both kittens would have died a very cold and lonely death. i know they are just cats, but God did put us here to be protectors of the less fortunate, didn't he?

sorry about being away so long! spring breakers have taken over my computer. the first couple of days were so nasty out (we got around 4 inches of rain and the pond is officially full! yea!) that the kids had to find stuff inside to do. so that means fighting over the computer. i only have had a few extra here and there this week, so i am not totally tired of kids yet.

today is Good Friday. this is the day Jesus died for us on the cross. for us, this week is the most important week in the year.

i am sorry i didn't comment on the american idol shows this week. i know that rachel has been waiting to see my tears on the screen about amanda not making it to the top 10. well, i don't know that it is worth crying over, i am a little sad that she left. i don't think this was the kind of contest that she fit into, and i think she knew that. in fact, i really think that's part of the reason she didn't smile much. that and the fact she was on the "vote for the worst" website. she wasn't the worst. i think that kristy lee's "blow you out of your socks" comment to simon is why she was able to hang in there. my husband cracked up when she said that! then i think she realized what she had said and turned a nice shade of red. i think she got to stay because people wanted to see what she might say next week. it certainly wasn't because they enjoyed the performances she puts on.
and what was with the 2 weeks of beatles? not that i don't like the beatles, but there are there not enough other songs out there? or was it because no one chose "yesterday" in the first week?
i don't know, but i sure hope they don't make that mistake again!

we went to see "horton hears a who" this week. it was pretty good. all my kids enjoyed it. that was pretty cool. the little guys were so engrossed in the movie, they didn't talk much, and that almost never happens! they did a good job with the casting, and i think it turned out pretty good.

we rented a few movies this week. my favorite, by far, was "enchanted". the story was cute, the casting was phenomenal! amy adams (i think) was the princess, and she did a great job. i totally bought her as a disney style princess. the mannerisms, the voice, everything! everyone else was good too, but man, she was awesome. and the songs! they were so freakin' cute! i am not a "princess" type of girl, but this movie was really that good. or at least i thought it was. my husband took grace to see it in the theater and he liked it, but didn't love it. he said this was the best casting job though...which was definitely true.

i am so looking forward to the candy on sunday. i have a confession. i don't like M&M's unless they have been microwaved first. this is totally weird, i know. if you try it, you won't go back. take a handful, microwave them on high for 30 to 60 seconds. the shells crack, and the chocolate inside gets all melty....mmmmmm! it works for those chocolate eggs too! i'm on my 2nd bag. terrible i know, but what can i do? they call my name!

the power of prayer

another miracle monday thanks to beth at http://beth-amomslife.blogspot.com/. she is truly an inspiration. anyone that has any miracles they can think of, post about it and link it to beth. there are some truly amazing stories there!

*warning, this post contains a bad word. if that offends, then this may not be the post for you!

i would like to tell you all about some friends of mine. kathy is a pe teacher. her husband dan is a great guy. they have 3 girls. one is a freshman in college, one is a senior in high school, and their youngest is in 3rd grade with my haley. as some of you who read my blog may know, dan was diagnosed as having ALS back in august. they decided to tell no one, not even their kids. at least not until after christmas. they lived with knowing he had a terminal disease, a horrible debilitating disease. after the start of the new year, they told family first, then friends. when asked by his twin brother if there was anything he could do, dan answered "make sure my girls don't marry assholes". he still had his sense of humor.
of course as soon as we all found out, the prayers started. we all prayed for, if not a total mistake, at least a misdiagnosis. dan started seeing doctors after telling everyone. he went to 3 or 4 different ones for different opinions.
why is this a miracle? after all the prayers, it turns out, he doesn't have ALS. he has parkinson's. while that isn't a great and wonderful thing, it is sooo much better than ALS and the 3 to 5 year life expectancy.
this man, through the grace of God, was given a reprieve. thanks to the many prayers of a loving community, he will get to stay around longer...if for nothing else than to make sure his girls don't marry assholes!

miracle

this is something that happened pretty recently. after reading about another car accident...i realized this was a miracle for sure. especially with the recent developments.

on december 23rd (my mother in law's birthday) of 2007, my nephew was driving too fast on a road and lost control of his car. he and his 2 friends were "hill hopping". upon landing, he lost control of his car and it rolled, slid and flew down the side of the hill hitting a tree 8 feet up. the boy in the backseat hadn't been wearing his seat belt. he was ejected and died. my nephew and his friend in the front passenger seat were wearing their seat belts. my nephew's seat broke, and it actually protected the boy in the passenger seat. he had a cut on the back of his head, and a bruised arm. my nephew had an open skull fracture, and broke his neck. his spine was only bruised, the actual vertebra were cracked. he was on a ventilator for several days because the bruising of his spinal column made it harder for him to breathe correctly. the doctors were sure how his brain would handle the trauma. he was an exceptionally brilliant kid.
he went back to school 2 weeks ago. his neck brace came off the same day he started back to school. he has no major brain damage, and tested higher than anyone ever has on the tests the neurologist gave him. we are so happy he is doing so well physically.
please pray for him to keep recovering emotionally.

hearing God's voice

what does it sound like? have you ever heard it? do you hear it often?
well, i have heard it. it was not like a voice, but a feeling. i didn't hear him say "amy, go outside". i felt a push to get the mail. seriously. there was construction outside. it was loud out there. i don't even remember if there was even any mail. i just remember as i walked back to my condo (about 10 years ago) that i heard something. a small voice maybe? "help, please". not loud. in fact i could barely hear it over the concrete work going on across the street. "is someone there?" "please help me" i heard. i walked over to the next door neighbor's little condo, and there was mrs brown. the was hidden in between the big bush and the concrete front patio. she had fallen, and was stuck. i think she had been there for at least 30 minutes, if not an hour. i helped her up, and then helped her into her house. i helped her get her coat off. i helped her clean up her arm (which had a huge nasty scrape on it). i sat with her when she called her friend, and made sure she was ok before i went back to my little condo, and my sleeping little guy.
mrs brown was a great neighbor. when i was 15, i got locked out of my house. i had no where to go, and my mom was going to be at work for at least another 4 hours. she let me stay with her until my friend sara got home. she fixed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and was so very nice to me. i am so glad i was given an opportunity to help her out as much as she helped me!
i think about her and about listening when God gives me a little push.

thanks rachel, for the picture of my family.

my personal goal is 20 items per room.
i have 9 (gulp) rooms.
my extra focus room is the little boys' room (yikes!)
i think the lbs' room will need extra attention all week. yes it is that bad.

what am i talking about? the cleaning challenge at martie's house at
www.martieshouse.blogspot.com. she had 9 kids and keeps a clean house. i only have 5 and my house looks like a tornado went thru it most of the time!

how 'bout that superbowl?! i was so excited to see the underdogs win. i don't know what it is, but tom brady really rubs me the wrong way. i don't know why. but peyton manning used to do the same thing to me. now i love the guy. i think it is all the commercials he does. he is so freakin' hilarious. congrats to the manning family! 2 superbowl champs!

both my girls have colds (please let it just be colds). they have the cough and runny noses, no fever and no stomache aches. we have been exposed to the flu. twice now actually. 2 different families that i watch have had it in the past month. (is it past or passed? i can never remember) i don't know why it would be only my girls that would get it though, it was the boys' friends that had it. we shall see.

2 weeks until we leave for our cruise! i'm getting excited, but nervous. my dad will be in florida. my step mom wants to take care of the kids for me. or at least the ones not in school. the only problem is that she is having foot surgery a week from this coming friday. she was stung by a sting ray the last time they were in florida. the venom didn't dissapate in her bloodstream, it formed a ball of infection in her foot. so now she has to have surgery to remove the infection. she said she can still watch the kids, and the only day she would need help is on wed when she goes back to work (hairstylist). i just hate doing that to her. my mother in law and sister in law also said they would help.

friday, my alex is doing the "stations of the cross" in church. he volunteered to do it. (huge)
he is playing barabas (i probably butchered the spelling). he is doing this in front of every one at church...and this is usually pretty packed. i am so proud of that kid. i don't think i would have been able to do it. i was a little more shy. that's one of the great things about our school. from kindergarten up, the kids are involved in speaking in front of church. it could be readings, or just saying a few petitions (prayer petitions), but they get up in front of everyone...and we have daily mass, so the kids get many opportunities.

an explanation or two

well, hello there! i have been away a while. well, i haven't actually...our laptop's hard-drive went out. so we decided to get a new computer. oh, the joy of trying to remember all my favorite websites!
how has our household adjusted to being a dog-less household? very well. sadly, very very well. especially the hubby. i don't think i have seen him this happy in a long time. well, perhaps not exactly happy but definitely much less stressed out. he even sold a bunch of cars. all happening after getting rid of the dogs. the kids are happier too. i never thought that would be. they seem to respond well to not being yelled at to take care of the dogs. amazing, huh? i thought there may have been a delayed reaction of sadness or anger about the dogs leaving, but no, just happiness...for all but me. i was really really bummed out. i was ticked off at everyones' lack of sadness. i was extremely crabby. (more than usual, anyway)
my tale of dog woes:
we decided when our first child was 18 mos, we wanted to get a puppy. not just any puppy, but a black great dane puppy. noble was that puppy. he was great. he listened pretty good. he stayed by my side, he didn't jump, and he was protective of our family (ok, maybe just of me and the kids.). he was beautiful. unfortunately, we made the mistake of getting him before we were living in a house...we were living in a 2 bedroom condo. then we made the mistake of taking him to my sister in law's house until we were able to build our house. she allowed him to run. she allowed him and his brother (her dog) to run whenever they wanted, and where ever they wanted. right before we broke ground on our house, we found both dogs dead of an apparent poisoning. i was totally devastated. it broke my heart that he was gone.
my sister in law felt badly about what happened. she decided to get me another black great dane puppy as a surprise. thus, junior entered our lives. he was a nice enough dog. he loved me. he was ok with my kids. but he had to be penned up most of the time because he didn't want to stay in the invisible fence. he would just run right thru it. he then started to become really really protective and had a thing about pre-adolescent boys. (basically boys between the ages of 9 and 15) i don't know why, but he hated them. i couldn't trust him around them. he chased down the neighbor boy and knocked him to the ground, he growled and tried to chase my cousin, and then...the last straw...he bit the neighbor boy. i don't know if he meant to or not. i think he was just trying to grab the towel around the kid's arm...but that was it. i couldn't have a dog that i couldn't trust around kids. we decided junior couldn't live with us anymore.
after dealing with all this, i had decided that was it. no more dogs. i couldn't deal with it anymore. i hated losing them. it hurt too much. i couldn't spend the time with them that was needed to make them good dogs. i was too busy with teaching my own babies, and of course having more babies. what happens next? well the same sister in law decided that our oldest needed a dog, that he was responsible enough for a dog. now enters sami. we tried to make it work, but my kids are just not really into dogs. they want to play sports, hang out with their friends, and go places. they didn't have time in their busy lives for a dog. poor sami had to deal with it for 3 years. she is a great dog. she was a great mom. she deserves a family that wants her and loves her. i believe god has a plan for her. otherwise, why would she have a new home so quickly?


i don't want any more dogs.


atleast not until my kids are out of my house...then maybe i'll be ready.

am i jumping the gun?

i found out over the weekend that dan's diagnosis has changed. it isn't als, it is parkinsons. i guess after telling his family, he started to go to wash u for treatment, and they determined that it is parkinsons. now, parkinsons isn't great, but it's a hell of a lot better than als. i don't know how many more opinions they are going to get, but i think i would get at least 2 more. how crazy is that? after holding it in for months, and finally telling people, you find out that you have something else. but thank god it is!

that's all i have time to post about right now. i'll try to put some more on later.

why i love my little town

last night, jeff got home really really late. he had been pretty busy with customers all day. in fact his day, which was supposed to end at 3:30, didn't end until 10. yeah, it was a long day. and yet he came home in high spirits. believe me, that is not usually the case. he told me his boss showed him something pretty amazing...
i'm sure you remember my friend kathy's husband was diagnosed with als, and they have known about it for months, but just told everyone recently. my community, my fellow church members, my friends,(they are all one in the same) are building a house for dan and kathy. you see, they have been dreaming about building a house for years. they have the property, but were waiting until the older girls were out of high school to build. right now they live in a small 2 story home, and their bedroom is on the 2nd floor. that works for right now, but unfortunately it won't work well when the disease progresses. once people in our community found out, several started to think about what they could do for them. we have several builders, and contractors in our community, dan and kathy have lots of friends, like us, that are willing to help, so hopefully soon they will have a new home.

this is not an isolated incident. the generosity of my community is awe inspiring. when our principal started at our school, she had just lost her son to lung cancer. he was in his 20's. he left behind a wife and young daughter. his daughter was diagnosed with cancer while her daddy was still fighting the good fight. this family had struggled alot. his daughter beat the cancer (in her jaw area). unfortunately, it came back within 2 years...this time in her leg. her mother is one of the strongest people i know. parents of the other kids in the girl's class, teachers, and just other community members, got together and threw a benefit for her. they raised over $30,000 in one night for her. people donated so much stuff, and then spent so much money, all for a little girl they had only known for a couple of years. she beat the cancer again. she is doing well.

i know there are other communities that are just as generous out there. but this is my town. these are my friends. and this is why i love it here. i hope everyone can find a place where they are so inspired by their neighbors and friends.

same stuff, different day

i found out the other day that a friend of mine's hubby has ALS...that's lou gehrig's disease. i think he is 50. he's got 3 daughters, one is a freshman in college, one is a senior in high school, and one is in 3rd grade with my haley. his daughter is my haley's best friend. this guy is the nicest person. he's coached the girls in softball, and is planning on coaching basketball. i don't know how advanced he is, but they found out in august. they didn't tell anyone (he and his wife) until after the holidays. he has a twin brother. when his twin asked if there was anything he could do for him, his response was "don't let my girls marry assholes". while i cracked up when i heard this, it also broke my heart. please pray for dan and kathy and their girls. shoot, pray for anyone with this disease and their families...but please keep these guys in your thoughts and prayers too.

have i become debbie downer or what? it feels like every time i post, it is asking for prayers for someone who is down on their luck. i know that this is a great way to "get the word out", but i need to think of more witty (perhaps "witty" is not a word best used to describe them) observations or something.
ok, here's a "witty" observation. i don't know if this is all husbands, or just mine.
i was relating to my hubby that i was really really stressed out. i just felt like everyone wanted a piece of me, and i had nothing left to give. i didn't know what i needed, but i just had to vent. he tells me to take off my clothes and get in bed. i'm thinking "ok, i get to go to bed, relax, awesome". that wasn't what he was thinking. he thought that when i said i was stressed that was code for i want sex. seriously. he really thought this. he didn't understand why i told him to go ____ himself and walked out. later when i calmed down, he told me he thought he was helping me...you know sex is a great stress release. that may be, but when you already feel like everyone wants a piece of you, that doesn't help. now, i don't know if other husbands are like this, but that is how mine sees things...

update on my nephew

he is off the ventilator!!!! he is talking. he will need surgery for his neck. before he was off the vent, he was spelling things out with this chart they have in his room. so we are really hopeful about no major brain damage. i think we are going to try to get up there to see him today. it depends on when jeff gets off work. thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!

the kids have handled this pretty well. they all wanted to go see him. the older three got to go in and see him. they weren't scared and they were really positive. zack and josh mostly provided some comic relief for my niece and sister in law. my niece is zack's god mother.

i am still trying to recover from all the christmas. i am exhausted! trying to put everything in it's place is really tough...especially when it's 5 different kids getting all kinds of stuff. my main floor looks like a war zone!

i think we have decided to try to find another home for black sally. she's a great dog. she is just too much puppy for us. i think it's just the puppy thing. she's too mouthy with the little kids. she doesn't realize they aren't puppies like her. if we find her a home, i would be happy. if we don't, that's ok too. i'm going to be picky when it comes to someone wanting her. i'm not going to get rid of her just to be rid of her. she really is a sweet dog.

i think all the kids were happy with what they got this christmas. it was definitely overshadowed by my nephew's accident, but in a good "more grateful" kind of way. after seeing the pictures of what the car looked like, well, let's just say it was a miracle anyone survived. please pray for the family who lost a son in this accident. no one should have to lose a child in that way...especially at christmas.

it's begining to sound a lot like christmas

i am not going to post about how stressed out i am this time. i promise. i thought of something else. today, we are cleaning up so we can hopefully get our tree up today. as i sit here listening to old school rap (some fat boys, snoop dogg, and warren g) it made me think of something.

perhaps not what it may make you think of.

what is your favorite christmas carol and why?

mine is "The Little Drummer Boy". i don't think i even knew why. i tear up every time they sing the line "i am a poor boy too". i loved the movie. i remember people saying things like "why didn't he just give him the drum? why did he play it for him?" well i think it was a lesson on the gifts we give god. we can honor him in so many ways. could we just give god our children (for example)? maybe, but do we honor him more by teaching and caring for them? god doesn't want stuff. he wants us to give of ourselves. as a catholic, i hear our priest talk about the 3 T's...time talent treasure. god wants us to give of ourselves. time is first because it is hardest to give up. talent is something that is great to donate...if you have one. treasure is actually the easiest. how often do we spend a few extra dollars just for the convenience of not having to spend more time on it. we will spend $20 for shipping instead of having to go to the store and pick it up. same goes for lots of people at church. i know quite a few people that would rather give money than have to volunteer their time. that's fine. we need those people too.

now as i write this, i am thinking "after all my big talk, what am i going to do as a gift for god?". i really don't know. sometimes (alot of the time) we lose sight of what this holiday is all about. trying to get to see all our family, rushing around trying to get gifts for those we buy for, we don't take the time to think of god. for us catholics, christmas is the second most important holiday of the year. (easter being the most) i think we forget why it is a holy day.

disclaimer: by the "we" above, i was meaning my family only. i don't know about anyone else's family, and did not mean to point fingers

i am helping grace write her christmas list right now. top of her list...baby sister.
sorry babe, not happening. although jeff told her in a few years we will be adopting. and i think he plans on a girl, you know, to even it out. she seemed ok with that, but she is still asking for a baby sister.

i wonder if the next thing will be mommy and daddy's divorce...because i am sure if i came up pregnant, that would probably be next.

did you know?

here is something you may not know about me. i have been married twice. now before you start racking your brain trying to figure out how, let me explain.
we were married twice. my husband and i. the first time was after our oldest was born. in fact he was 9 mos old and at our wedding. we were married in a church, not our church, but just a church. i wanted a church wedding, you see. not necessarily a church or religion, just a church wedding. did this wedding mean anything? of course it did. you see, i love my husband. i wanted to be his wife. i also had some mixed emotions about marriage and men (thanks to my parents' nasty divorce). i also had some trust issues to work out. so this first wedding helped me toward being able to believe my husband loved me and wanted to marry me, not just because we had a son together. so anyway, we were married again in 2001. this was the year i went thru RCIA (rite of catholic initiation for adults..i think). i became catholic. which means that i went thru 9 months of classes to learn about the catholic faith and decide if it was really what i wanted. the night before easter, at the mass, i was baptized, given first communion, made my confirmation, and was married again, all in one night and in front of the entire church. i was the only one who did all of this. there were others who received some of those sacraments, but i was the only one who had to receive them all. it was a god-filled night. my two oldest children were there, my grandpa was there (and also became my godfather that night), and people i hardly knew, (but now know) were all there for that night. my first wedding was stress-filled. this one was awe inspiring. god was there for me, took care of my fears and worries, and the following month i found out i was pregnant with my grace. sometimes i forget He has a plan for me, and that i need to trust him. i guess i need to remember those 2 wedding days. thank you god. thank you for those you put in my life, and those you have taken from it.

a picture of strength

ok, this is a pretty sad and difficult post to write.

my niece dani has a best friend who has had cancer 2 times now. she is going into 2nd grade. my kids also know this little girl, grace plays with her, josh loves rubbing her bald head, zack calls to her to come play with him...you know, little kid stuff.
this little girl lost her father when she was 4. he died of lung cancer...he had never smoked, and was only 29. they were diagnosed within months of each other. she is his only child (her mother was pregnant at the time they were diagnosed, but lost the baby).
they did genetic testing on this little girl. unfortunately her cancer is something that will keep coming back...until the cancer or the chemo kills her. they don't know how soon it will come back again, could be ten years, or it could be 1. could be the same kind again, could be bone cancer, brain cancer, or leukemia. they don't know for sure. basically, they told her mom she probably won't make it out of grade school.

her mom is one of the strongest people i have ever met. how do you deal with this? i know god only gives us what we can handle, but who could handle that? she is one of those people that you meet, and feel comfortable with. she doesn't care about others' opinions. she has been so strong for her daughter. i can not even comprehend how she does it. my eyes fill with tears and my heart feels like it has a 20lb weight on it, and i just know them. i look at my kids and i can't imagine facing the prospect of losing one of them. i don't know that i could make it through that. i know god has a plan, and we all have strength inside. but so far my tests have been "life". what i mean by life is, god blessed me 5 beautiful lives to care for. i look at this woman, and i could not imagine the pain she is feeling right now, and keeping from her little girl.

i look at them, and i am in awe. so much love, and i just pray that my kids know i love them that much. please everyone, pray for mackenzie and her mom shaina, and her stepdad jason. they need all the prayers you can send their way!

count down to first communion

saturday is the big day. haley's first communion. 40 people (give or take) in my house. luckily, that is just close family. thank goodness it is supposed to be beautiful that day. i don't really have much to do, well except clean the house. i have been working on that for about a week now. you know, with me being home all day, you would think it would be easy to keep the house clean. but with 3 kids home during the day, (not to mention any kids i watch being there too) and the 4 that come home from school, my house is constantly dirty.

rachel told me i should start this thing when i kept emailing her about the bunnies having bunnies. well, the bunnies are gone now. i guess now's as good a time as any. we are a bunny free home. i expect it to stay that way. jeff thinks we have too many pets as it is. like a dog, two bearded dragons, two baby turtles, and about 10 fish are too many pets. the baby turtles are the coolest pets though. when they see me in the kitchen, they swim to the glass and watch me, and try to get my attention. they even look at you when you talk to them! i know "what a freakin' geek". well i am rambling now. better get to the kids in the tub!