boy i'm glad i'm me!

well, maybe.

today i only have 2 extra. well, until school lets out. yay me...


i was early starting out to the car, you know to take one of my b.s. (babysitting) kids to the bus stop.

unfortunately, the cat had been locked up in my van all night.

i don't keep a litter box in my van.

that's ok, he just used zack's car-seat.

yay me, again...

i didn't find the mess until i had almost put one of the babies in it...of course, i also realized, just then, she had made a mess of her own. yeah, it was all over her onesie, pants, and even her jacket.

yay me, three times over!

so far, i have spent my day cleaning poopy car seats, poopy kids, and well, it's not over yet.

alex comes home today. they are running late because their plane was waiting on a part. it's ok, the part was in chicago, they are in orlando. it should be in sometime today.


i can't complain too much, though. i made it in time to get kid to the bus stop. i got the car seat sprayed out in time, you know before the rain. and it is hopefully going to be dry enough for the kid pickup at 3. i made it in time to pick up josh from school. i made the kids their favorite sandwiches (cheese and mayo). and i've only had 3 poopy diapers to change.

it could always be worse. the cat was in the van all night. i only found that one mess...of course i didn't actually look any farther...oh, i hope there isn't any more! the kids will find it for me i'm sure.

karma

yeah, after yesterday's post, um, well, i broke the youngest child. not my youngest, the "youngest" in the previous post.

well, i didn't exactly break him, he broke himself...but at my house and on my watch.

i heard some screaming and yelling (not exactly an uncommon sound at the zoo) and so i went out to see what was going on, and to yell of course. instead, there is youngest with a mouth full of blood. not the "oh i bit my lip" bloody saliva, but the "i think i knocked all my teeth out and bit my tongue off" blood drip-age*.

i got him a cup of cold water and had him gently swish and spit in the sink. as he screamed and cried, i tried my best to comfort him...but i find that soft voices and nurturing words often make them more scared. (sounds mean, but that's what i've found) so instead i told him to calm down and quit his screaming...

and then he pulled out his tooth...

and i about puked...**

and then i thanked God it was just a baby tooth.

and he kept gently swishing as i babbled about tooth fairy money...

and then his sister came into the room and said "oh my God, oh my God"...

and youngest started crying again, and screaming again...

and i told her to get out that wasn't helping...

and i told him to be quiet, screaming was only going to make things worse...

and he believed me...

and he swished and the blood stopped...

and i looked in his mouth, and about puked** again..

i then called his mom's cell phone to tell her about the gash in his gums, and that it may need to be looked at.

what happened? well, he and josh wanted to see who weighed more. there's a pvc pipe out back that they put in between the fork in a tree trunk (think teeter-totter) and each took a side. i guess youngest won, and then fell off his side and busted his mouth on the pipe. after seeing his mouth and all the blood, all the children agreed that they never ever ever wanted to do that again.

*i have no idea how he did this, but he didn't get a single drop of blood on his clothes. tell me, how do you have a mouth full of blood, and not get a single solitary drop on your white shirt?

**i have some issues with blood and injuries. i tend to pass out or get sick when i am around it. granted, most of the time, it was mine, but i have actually passed out at the bedsides of sick relatives. so if i hear you are in the hospital, please don't expect me to visit.

how i named my blog

i saw someone else's post about how they named their blog, then a friend of mine renamed her blog (with the help of some bloggy friends) and it came to me...a post about how i came up with the name. the story may be long, and cover many years of my life, but i think it will be somewhat interesting. you may learn things you didn't know about me, and things you may have wished i kept a secret, but my history is part of me. it doesn't define me, but it shaped who i am and what i hold dear.

when i decided to start this blog, i tried to think of something witty to call it. being that i am not humorously inclined, i failed. we had just had a 10 year high school reunion, and i thought "hmmm, what did most people think when they saw me?". to understand where i am coming from, you must know how i was.
when i was 13, my parents went through a nasty divorce. my mom actually left my dad 3 weeks before my birthday. it was a pretty tough time for me. it left me a little unsure of myself. ok, who am i kidding, i was way unsure of myself. i was shy to begin with, but changing schools made it worse. i had a mom that thought school should teach her children to put condoms on bananas and that high school was for "experimenting". it didn't matter if that was drugs, or alcohol, or sex. i was always a good student. that never changed. even after i started smoking pot my sophmore year, or when i started doing some stronger drugs my junior year. i never tried meth, or coke or heroin. i did try pot, lsd, hash, well, and some pot laced with stronger stuff. i used them pretty regularly on weekends, and my junior year, when a friend had a car accident and died, i started using them more often. in fact, i smoked pot everyday from march through may. i couldn't handle not being stoned. it is pretty sad to think about how i felt so out of control. the summer between junior and senior year i met my hubby. we both had moderate drug issues. i decided, a month into senior year, i was going to get clean. no more drugs for me. well, i wasn't perfect, but i was doing better. it amazed me how blue the sky was and how green the grass was. i felt like a hazy mist had lifted from my eyes. i was totally clean by december.
now let me back up a little. when i met the hubby, we became "physical" within the first couple of weeks. i don't know how serious we were about our relationship. well, i know i wasn't all that serious. i was planning on going away to college. i didn't want some majorly serious relationship messing that up. he was a really nice guy, but he wasn't going anywhere. he was 19, he didn't go to college, and was working at a convenience store. so i was pretty guarded with my emotions. flash forward to december. in december, i missed my period. no big deal, i had friends who missed theirs pretty often. just because i was like clockwork all the time, didn't mean anything to me. then january came, and still no period. i decided to take a pregnancy test, just to show myself i wasn't pregnant. well, no such luck. i was. i was 17 years old, a senior in high school, and pregnant by a guy i had known for roughly 6 months. yeah, every parents' dream for their child. i had to tell my parents, my teachers, the school nurse, school administration, my friends, my boyfriend, his family, his friends...yeah, it still hurts to think about.
now, i still had several months left of school. i had decisions to make about the fate of my baby and myself. abortion was never a factor. i never believed in it, and getting pregnant at 17 didn't change that. adoption was a possibility, but i wasn't ready to look at that. i felt lost. not to mention the kids at school who said things like "you should give it up or have an abortion because you'd make a crappy mom". really positive and uplifting things like that. not all the kids, just a select few. a select few that i had been close to up until that moment...and then distanced myself from pretty quickly. i also had some shining angels that made it ok. my friends joe, molly, jeremy, and nike made me feel like i was the same person. they didn't treat me any differently.
now, here i am, 11+ years later, with 5 kids, a great husband, and a life i never would have thought possible. i went to college before and after alex was born, but it only lasted a semester. i wanted to focus on being a mom. my hubby asked me to marry him on my 18th birthday (30 days before the baby was born) and we were married the following may. life fell into place. i can honestly say, i haven't wanted to do any drugs since i gave them up. when i became a mom, all that was in my past. those wonderful friends fell away, but i still love each and every one of them for what they did for me. i don't think they even realized how much it meant to me.
and that is why i gave my blog this name...because "who'd of thought" my life would turn out like this!

miracle

this is something that happened pretty recently. after reading about another car accident...i realized this was a miracle for sure. especially with the recent developments.

on december 23rd (my mother in law's birthday) of 2007, my nephew was driving too fast on a road and lost control of his car. he and his 2 friends were "hill hopping". upon landing, he lost control of his car and it rolled, slid and flew down the side of the hill hitting a tree 8 feet up. the boy in the backseat hadn't been wearing his seat belt. he was ejected and died. my nephew and his friend in the front passenger seat were wearing their seat belts. my nephew's seat broke, and it actually protected the boy in the passenger seat. he had a cut on the back of his head, and a bruised arm. my nephew had an open skull fracture, and broke his neck. his spine was only bruised, the actual vertebra were cracked. he was on a ventilator for several days because the bruising of his spinal column made it harder for him to breathe correctly. the doctors were sure how his brain would handle the trauma. he was an exceptionally brilliant kid.
he went back to school 2 weeks ago. his neck brace came off the same day he started back to school. he has no major brain damage, and tested higher than anyone ever has on the tests the neurologist gave him. we are so happy he is doing so well physically.
please pray for him to keep recovering emotionally.

gimpy

i think i am going to get all my "former" pet posts out of the way.

gimpy was a cute little black and white kitten. he was born to one of the nameless cats at my in-laws' house. he was different than the other kittens. i'm not sure if it was something he had since birth, or if it was from being dropped. he had some sort of nerve damage or brain damage. he wasn't able to walk or run like the other cats. he would fall over, and on rare occasions, do somersaults. some days were better, some days you could hardly tell he had any issues. he was a fighter. he was right in there getting food...fighting with the other cats, growling, getting his food. he was tough. i fell in love. totally in love with this kitten. i told my husband how much i liked this little black and white kitten. he told me to take it to the vet and bring it home. he didn't have to tell me twice! gimpy lived in our garage because a boy i watch is very allergic to cats. he adjusted well. he would hang out with me at the veggie garden. he would follow the stroller, or if he got tired, he would crawl into the basket under the stroller. he was the coolest cat. he was so loving, but not in the "in your face" way some cats are. even my husband would go outside and play with this cat. everyone loved this cat.

my sister in law (the one that gave us the 2 dogs) had a dog named maya. maya had been abused and was terrified of men. she would hide when men came around, and if they tried to touch her or get close to her, she would shake uncontrollably and pee. she also had a thing for small animals. since she had come to live there, we had noticed that the cat population had been decreasing. i thought they had just found somewhere better.

one day, i opened the garage door and then went in to get grace and josh. it was november (right before i found out i was pregnant with zack), so i had to get their coats and stuff on. as i was getting the kids ready, my sister in law called. is the cat outside? yeah. "oh my god i think maya has him". i was out the door. i spotted maya down by the fence line. she had something in her mouth and was throwing and shaking it. please please please let it be something else. please. i ran down there shoe less, coatless, and yelling the whole way. she dropped the something, and ran about 10 feet away. please please please don't let it be him. it was my kitty. please please please let him just be hurt. i picked him up and held him in my arms. i held my hand to his chest. please let there be a heartbeat, please let him be breathing. please let him be ok. one look, and i knew he was gone. i was completely numb. i cradled him and walked back to the house. my sister in law was crying, so so sorry. i called my husband. he was upset for me. i couldn't feel anything. i couldn't believe he was gone. i took a shower, and cried. i cried until the water turned cold. my heart hurt so badly. my kitty, my little fighter, my gimpy was gone.

weekend recap

ok, quick nephew update. he is doing great. he is going to be moved to a rehab hospital this week i believe. he is mentally all there...a little whiny, but what man wouldn't be? physically he is doing great. thanks for all the prayers! they definitely worked!
friday
jeff and i got away from the kids for the night. we went and saw "i am legend" and went out to eat. the movie was ok. not a "wow" type of movie. not an original idea for a plot, that's for sure. i won't ruin it for anyone, so i won't tell you what movies it was like. it was good, but not great. had will smith not been in it, we wouldn't have gone to see it. i don't think anyone would have. my brother in law was having friends over, so we stopped by. his friend, alexa, was there. her parents took one of the puppies. she said he is like 35 pounds already, and her parents love him like a kid. they are going to take him to obedience classes starting this week. glad to hear they love him.
saturday
grace had her first indoor soccer game this past weekend. she scored a goal and her team won 6-3. their game started at 7:30 AM and the place is a good 30 minute drive from my dad's house. the kids stayed the night there and so my dad drove her to her game. on the way back, she threw up all over herself. my dad is a little hard of hearing, and she didn't speak up, so she was pretty gross when they got home. she slept most of the rest of the day. they brought all the kids home after they dropped alex off for his game at 12. alex's team played the other team from his school. alex's team won. he scored 5 points and fouled out in the 4th quarter.
i got to go out with a bunch of moms. i went to my friend jen's house (the nurse) and she had a "spa" party. a nice lady selling beauticontrol products gave us mini facials, foot stuff, all kinds of good stuff. me being the youngest there, i didn't get as much stuff done to my face. i have fairly clear skin, and not too many lines and/or wrinkles yet, but most of the other moms were atleast 7 to 10 years older than me. it was so much fun to sit around and talk, and just be a woman.
sunday
second sunday in a row that we actually all made it to church. jeff is not an early riser, so we made it to the 11 o'clock mass. the boys were so good in church i was amazed. we had several people make comments about how good the boys were. always nice to hear good things about your kids. we came home to grab jeff some food (he hadn't eaten breakfast yet) and the neighbor's friend (who took a puppy) was out with the puppy. they named him marley. he is a good 5 pounds bigger than sally. he seems happy and healthy. she loves him. i'm glad he has a home where he is loved like he is. from there, we went to the hospital. jacob is doing well. he is in a normal room, his roommate is a teenage boy too. i don't know what happened to him, i didn't ask, but i heard he's a wrestler. we stayed there for a couple of hours. we left there in time to get to alex's next basketball game. he's in a tournament. he played the same team again, the really tough team that totally creamed our boys the first game of the first tournament they were in. (did that make sense?) we didn't lose by as much. only like 13 points. we actually outscored them in the second half. had our team played the first half the way they did the second, we could have taken them. that's nice to see. our boys were so sure they were going to lose going in, i don't think they realized how close they came to winning it in the end.

did i ever say i don't really like watching basketball? i still don't like it much, but when it's my kid out there, i can get interested.

a nephew, a trainer, and a black hole

well, my nephew will have surgery on his neck on wednesday. the family is giving blood, he has already needed 2 units, and they are wanting to be prepared in case he needs more.

i joined the gym my husband belongs to. with my membership came a visit with a personal trainer. trina was so very nice. we had a lot in common. she recently lost about 60 pounds, and was a stay at home mom, and she watched kids too. she totally kicked my butt too! i am not too sore yet, but i know it's coming! i need to get some cardio going today. she showed me how to work several machines, and some really good exercises for my whole body. she recommended several classes for me, and let me tell you, she totally rocks! if i had $100 extra a week, i would totally do the personal trainer route. (that gets you 3 sessions)

i think there is a black hole in my house. i have no idea how so much stuff comes up missing! it is seriously getting scary. it started out with shoes. ok, i can see how that could happen, we do have dogs after all. now, it's my broom. i am dead serious here! how do you lose a broom? i saw it in the living room...laying on the floor. the next morning it was gone. i have checked the house from top to bottom. i checked every bedroom (i do have a 2 year old and 3 year old), the laundry room, the basement, the garage, the bathrooms, i have checked EVERYWHERE! no sign of it anywhere. i guess i have to run out today and get a new one. i need to get out and get a new vacuum belt too. for some reason, the only bissell revolution belts jeff could find were way too big. so now i have to look all over and try to find one that works.

thank you for your continued prayers for my nephew and our family. it is very much appreciated.

update on my nephew

he is off the ventilator!!!! he is talking. he will need surgery for his neck. before he was off the vent, he was spelling things out with this chart they have in his room. so we are really hopeful about no major brain damage. i think we are going to try to get up there to see him today. it depends on when jeff gets off work. thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!

the kids have handled this pretty well. they all wanted to go see him. the older three got to go in and see him. they weren't scared and they were really positive. zack and josh mostly provided some comic relief for my niece and sister in law. my niece is zack's god mother.

i am still trying to recover from all the christmas. i am exhausted! trying to put everything in it's place is really tough...especially when it's 5 different kids getting all kinds of stuff. my main floor looks like a war zone!

i think we have decided to try to find another home for black sally. she's a great dog. she is just too much puppy for us. i think it's just the puppy thing. she's too mouthy with the little kids. she doesn't realize they aren't puppies like her. if we find her a home, i would be happy. if we don't, that's ok too. i'm going to be picky when it comes to someone wanting her. i'm not going to get rid of her just to be rid of her. she really is a sweet dog.

i think all the kids were happy with what they got this christmas. it was definitely overshadowed by my nephew's accident, but in a good "more grateful" kind of way. after seeing the pictures of what the car looked like, well, let's just say it was a miracle anyone survived. please pray for the family who lost a son in this accident. no one should have to lose a child in that way...especially at christmas.

update on my nephew

ok. he is going to live. he is not paralyzed. he is still on the ventilator and will be for another week or so. he fractured several bones in his neck, but only bruised his spinal cord. his skull is fractured, but they can't do anything about it until they deal with the neck. they aren't sure yet about brain damage, but he does recognize people when they come in to visit. jeff and our oldest three went in to see him yesterday. i stayed out in the waiting area with the younger two. i don't do well with hospitals. i have a nasty habit of passing out in the presence of very sick or injured people. because of this, i stayed home on christmas eve when everyone else went to the hospital and cooked dinner for everyone. my very small contribution. christmas day, we all went to the hospital. thank god for all the family and friends. they have been really great and supportive. thank you all for your prayers. we aren't out of the woods yet, but it is definitely looking better. my sister in law's family will be coming in on sat or sun. her grandfather passed away christmas eve. they are coming down after his funeral.

this brought up a lot of painful memories for my family. my mom's cousin was killed in a car accident on the 23rd of december thirty three years ago. he was also a teenager. he had been sitting in the back seat, and wearing a seat belt. it was a freak thing. the way the car was hit, his neck snapped the wrong way, and he died. it was the same injury christopher reeve had. he was my mom's best friend.

prayers needed badly

my nephew was in a really bad car accident early this morning. we aren't exactly sure what happened. he is in a drug induced coma. he has a fractured skull, some damage and swelling in his brain, some fractures to his vertebra in his neck. he is responding to pain stimuli in his feet, but he couldn't or wouldn't squeeze his hand when told to.
as bad as it is for him, his friend in the backseat died. his friend in the passenger seat has only a bruised shoulder. please pray for all these families...but especially for the family that lost a son. please pray for my nephew. not only is he going to have to recover from his physical injuries, but he is going to have a lot of emotional issues too. he was driving, and his friend died.
so far as we know, drugs and alcohol were not involved.
again, please say some prayers for them all.

merry christmas,
amy